Q:You spoke earlier about men letting go of their hate. Is there anything I can do to speed that process up or do I just have to wait it out? Serious questch.
If we’re still talking about that resentment young men harbor towards women, yeah, here’s the secret:
When someone does something ‘wrong’ by you, realize it’s not a function of their gender, but a byproduct of being human.
That’s it. When a female romantic partner, or potential partner, or someone you admire from afar behaves in a way that jilts you or makes you feel insufficient, do not say, “fuck, women are stupid.” Instead, say, “goddammit, people don’t behave the way I wish they would in my frighteningly myopic and self-obsessed mind.”
Because, that’s what’s up.
All the disappointments and hurt you associate with women would just as soon come from men if you were interested in men.
You want things to go your way. You want women to notice you and love you for who you are. You feel rebuked and then resentful when they don’t acknowledge you’re the coolest.
But their failure to fawn over you has little to do with their gender and everything to do with the fact that they’re human beings with their own set of priorities that don’t necessarily include loving you.
Let’s go through a list of the logic fallacies young men marry themselves to. This could also be a list of pop punk tropes.
- Women should recognize your value, but don’t.
- Women can’t be trusted.
- Women care about superficial things.
Now, let’s look at those claims put through the lens of a thinking adult who isn’t wearing an American Nightmare hoodie over his Descendents tattoo.
- Why would anyone recognize a fucking thing about you? There’s 3 billion males on the planet. You’re gonna have to assert your greatness if you have any at all. A potential employer can’t see into your soul, and neither can a potential romantic partner. Why did you make that shit about women?
- People do people shit. Meaning, they speak in the moment and act in the moment. When those moments are separated by even a couple seconds, you can expect some discrepancies between the two. You do this all the time, just like every other human, regardless of gender. Why did you make that shit about women?
- Women are universally marginalized. In most every population of marginalized people, you’ll see evidence that material goods and appearances take on an added importance. That only makes sense, though, of course, this generalization says nothing about the individual. However, YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO GET THAT SPECIFIC WITH IT. Because all of fucking humanity, marginalized or not, is superficial as fuuuuuuuuck. Half the time a dude is crying that he’s getting passed over for rich dudes or cool dudes, he’s passing over less attractive women. BECAUSE EVERYONE WANTS THE SHIT THAT THEY WANT, THEY JUST CREATE GOOFY STORIES TO JUSTIFY THEIR WANTS OVER OTHERS.
In short, realize you’re actually just a bitter goblin. Own that for a minute. Recognize it’s misanthropy, not misogyny, that’s got your nuts in a vice. Only then can you start working through your bullshit.
Q:I assumed the snapchat question was more in the nature of "what do you do to make the acquaintance of these ladies tell me so I can do the same. REALLY, because titties is dope."
Here’s the full scope of my knowledge of women. No charge.
- When they look nice, tell them they look nice
- When they say something funny, laugh
- Be actively engaged when they’re telling you something heavy
- Use Emojis
Last night I was up late and this was on my mind, so I sketched it out. I think it was the fox picture I posted last that brought it to the front, played out again like a picture show. It’s just rough, I thought someday I’d draw it out better. But sometimes the urge to draw a thing takes over a bit - and I’m awful impatient when it comes to drawing long strips, unfortunately.
Some backstory, as some know, I worked for two years in the Tar Sands of Fort McMurray, in various mining sites. I paid my student loans off, I saved a bit, and I started cartooning as a job when I left. Not everyone’s experiences there are the same, this was just a part of my own. It’s a complicated place that I think of every day, and there are scenes that never leave my mind.
This is one night at the Syncrude site, in January 2006. Click for the whole thing, here
Pretty incredible interview. Lengthy, but worth it.
Q:Why do you feel violence against men is not viewed in the same light as violence against women? I'm glad you brought up the fact that violence is violence no matter who the recipient is in that last answer
Because women are the universal minority.
It is a fact that many who perpetrate violence against women would never do so against men. So, it’s not crazy for people to view it through the lens of a hate crime.
I don’t see that particular filter as helpful in domestic violence cases, because the target of the violence is ‘the one closest to me; the one I can control; the one who will not report me’ and those distinctions can apply to any gender. However, it is worth noting that ‘woman’ and ‘the one no one will listen to’ have significant crossover here.
In the west, we at least pay lip-service to the idea that violence against marginalized people feels uglier than similar acts put on those in power. Is that fair? I don’t know. Violence is violence, after all. But there is something gross about stepping on the one already struggling to get up.
Today, Christmas; tomorrow, 12 hours of flying to San Diego to stay a week there. Going to be a nice holiday.
Q:Just on the Rote Flora issue: I have a buddy whose band was banned from Rote Flora because their bass player took off his shirt during one of their shows... I don't know if you remember, but in the summer it's like 90 degrees in there, but they still said it was because 'women can't take their shirts off during shows, so what you guys did was sexist'. any thoughts?
I’ve commented on this a million times, here and when performing.
This is idiot-think.
The intelligent response to inequality of this sort isn’t to reduce the quality of one population’s life, but to elevate the other to the same level. If women can’t take their shirts off during shows for fear of harassment, that is a major problem that should be addressed immediately. The issue is not men without shirts, the issue is men who menace and harass women. Insisting men keep their shirts on isn’t a cure. It isn’t even a bandaid. It’s a smokescreen.
Denying me a right makes you a piece of shit. I’ll call these people nazis to their faces.